What's up with that model in all the Bebe ads who looks like she'd do anything for a line of coke?

Have you already made your New Year's resolutions? Have you already thought up excuses of why you won't achieve them?

How many more days do you think Internet vendors can claim they can still deliver by Christmas?

Do you think they came up with the 12 Days of Christmas just to outdo the 8 Nights of Hanukkah?

If a loved one gave you a tattoo for a Holiday gift, what would you go for?

Scrooge: Arch-nemesis of the spirit of the season? Or poster child for economic recovery?

Slim Whitman Night of the Living Dead Seance Tour at a casino near you: Good idea or bad?

When sitting on Santa's knee, did you ever wish he'd just hand you a hundred dollar bill and dispense with the formalities?

Do you think Santa bypasses countries where it's currently reindeer hunting season?

Should "because 'It's a Wonderful Life' came on TV for the umpteenth time" ever be admissible as a criminal defense?

The song says "everybody knows a turkey and Sam Mistletoe..." But do you?

Have you ever spiked the egg nog that goes with Santa's cookies just to make getting back up the chimney a little more entertaining?

If Santa really can see you when you're sleeping, do you think it's with Homeland Security's blessing?

Have you ever donated to a Salvation Army kettle out of fear they might not be kidding about the "army" part?

Does Figgy Pudding sound more like a British rap artist or the nastiest stuff you could ever eat?

Should Santa be commended for hiring a diverse workforce of elves at the North Pole or condemned for running a foreign sweatshop?

Since everyone and their cat will eventually do a Christmas CD (except Cat Stevens) whose do you want in your stocking?

Holiday Video

From a company that the US Senseless Department regularly cajoles with.

Which are you more thankful for: Adam Lambert making it despite losing on American Idol? Or cold string cheese on a hot day?

Would you like to see forced mullet hairstyles instituted in place of capital punishment, or is that cruel and unusual?

Do you think the AMA gave Michael Jackson so many music awards because he couldn't give any boring acceptance speeches?

Should Oprah be given her own country, well because she's Oprah?

A Pee Wee Herman Economics Funtime Hour nightly on PBS. Would it help set things straight?

If Lady Gaga and rapper Freeky Zeeky had a baby, what would you suggest they name it?

Should UN Peacekeepers wear lime green leisure suits so they're less likely to be mistaken for someone who wants to be shot at?

Does "Sarah Palin" and "book tour" in the same sentence constitute an oxymoron?

Huey, Dewey or Louie? And why?

Should pedestrians be allowed to administer breathalyzer tests to panhandlers to ensure we're not contributing to their downfall?

Hot or not: Cheese curls? Kanye West? Depends?

In all fairness, should predatory lenders be forced to spend two weeks on the African veldt with only a loin cloth and a Bic pen?

George Romero's "Night of the Living H1N1". Would you want to see it in Blue-ray?

Homeless Smurfs hibernating in the ballot box: Would it make you more or less likely to vote?

If they could bring a cryogenically frozen Walt Disney back from the dead would you be okay with Quentin Tarantino getting the film rights?

Would a flying ninja fight that kept spilling out of the banquet room have made My Dinner With Andre a watchable movie?

If a Senseless Survey question were repeated three days in a row would you be more likely to get really annoyed by it?

If a Senseless Survey question were repeated two days in a row would you be more likely to think about it?

If they admitted that your cell phone emits enough radiation to fry an egg, would you use it to cook breakfast?

If you could have your own Baldwin brother, which one would it be?

Do you expect copycat accidental backyard homemade mushroom-shaped balloon launchings in order to get on Wife Swap?

If Donald Trump got religious do you think he'd invested billions in research to try to fit a camel through the eye of a needle?

Where was FEMA when the two of the Three Little Pigs who built their houses out of straw and sticks went homeless?

Would you feel more or less concerned about your personal safety if tasers came in specially-marked boxes of Cocoa Puffs?

Which is more demeaning to a dashchund: the term "wiener dog" or the fact their name already sounds like a sneeze?

Hooks, peglegs, eyepatches and making people walk the plank: Are pirates criminals or misunderstood handicapped individuals?

Which would you find more scary to be awoken by in the night: an evil clown laugh or the sound of a 75 ft. tall flamenco dancer?

If narcolepsy qualified as a disability, should Snow White be allowed to claim all seven dwarfs as dependents?

When you see a child wearing a sheet on Halloween, is your first though that they're dressed up as shroud of Turin?

Should there be an FDA warning on all Woody Harrelson films that says "Warning: Woody Harrelson"?

Which Lindsay Lohan court proceeding would you like to see made into a full-length Disney animation?

Would you be more or less inclined to slow for speedbumps if a smiling supermodel and weightlifter were posted at each one?

If there were a First Name Hall of Fame, which would you retire first: Biff or Buffy?

If a fairy godmother gave you a magic wand that only worked when you were wearing a tutu and bunny ears, would you?

Would you ever use the phrase "I've got H1N1 and I'm not afraid to use it!" to thwart a mugger?

What deceased TV pitchman or pitchwoman would you like to see brought back to life?

A weekly fireside chat with Kevin Federline: Would it make a difference in your life?

As punishment for disrupting Taylor Swift, should Kanye West be forced to sing an album of Moe Bandy tunes at shotgunpoint?

Would you watch reality TV about people who have no reality of their own, but spend their lives watching reality TV?

Congressional Sumo Wrestling: Would it spice up CSPAN?

What's your opinion on the new slogan being considered for NYC: New York, New York. No Wallet. No Pork?

Should People Magazine be allowed to down stars with tranquilizer guns to plant chips so we can really track track their mating habits?

If war is not the answer, what's the question?

Wrinkle-Free Cotton: oxymoron or urban myth?

Would proceeds from a "Hotties of the Business News" calendar stimulate the economy? Or is Paul Kangas in a thong just wrong?

Taters for Tots: Idaho's benevolence or the Starch Cartel's plot to rule the world?

If you had a quarter for every time somebody complained about the IRS, how would they tax your proceeds?

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Would a merger of the Lucky Charms leprechaun and the Keebler elves constitute a junkfood monopoly on magic powers?

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Due to tough economic times do you think kids be understanding if the Tooth Fairy left an IOU?

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Would lethal injection as capital punishment seem more humane if the convicted also got a sucker?

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Koo Koo Kachoo: Cryptic signal to the Manson Family? Or John Lennon sneezing while on acid?

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The "It Blowed Up Real Good" Satellite TV Channel with all explosions all the time: Would you watch it?

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What do you think of the plan to register all blondes, as CIA director Leon Panetta says, "just to keep tabs on this thing"?

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A Delta Polka Force that can be dispatched to the world's hot spots and ease tensions with oompah: Good idea or bad?

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Asks: Lethal injections for comb overs: is it really that inhumane?

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ow many Elvis impersonators DOES it take to put in a light bulb?

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Would the Taliban back down if we offered them a store in upscale malls to sell their own logo t-shirts and assorted Tali-bling?

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck had an industrial chipper?

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Would you be opposed to naming hurricanes after cartoon characters, like Hurricane Papa Smurf?

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Would you like to see more restrictions on smelly cheeses such as limburger or have it banned as nose pollution?

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What cable channels do you see a real need for: The Hillary Duff Channel? Baba Ganuj Network? Better Trailer Parks and Outhouses TV?

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Would the Pope get better attendance at Sunday masses if he raffled off a Chia bust of Madonna every week?

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In a billion years would you rather alien archaeologists unearth remnants of bowties, Botox or Bo Diddley?

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Would all seem fair and right in the world today if Billy Mays were honored with a posthumous Nobel Peace Prize?

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Where's Waldo? Or better yet: Why's Waldo?

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In order to save existence as we know it would you rather take a bullet for Paris Hilton, Jon Gosselin or the Geico gecko?

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Would the government be prying too deeply by inquiring your shoe size or foot width? And what are they?

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Do you think census surveyors would be more successful in their mission if they went topless?

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Would crazed loners be less of a security risk if we had more crazed loner conventions where they could be crazed and alone en masse?

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If David Hassellhoff starred in a TV drama as a bouncer at a senior's dinner buffet, would you watch it?

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Would you be more interested in the show if Jon's latest love interest were an avowed cannibal on "Jon & Kate Plus Ate"?

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Which flavors of Girl Scout cookies should they add? Do See Dos with an Allemande Left? Fat Mints? Guams? Pizza?

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Should Prince be able to sue "The Trailer Park Princess Formerly Known as Brittany Spears" for copyright infringement?

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Should manholes be renamed "personholes" in deference to political correctness.

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If you were a judge passing death sentence on the Pillsbury Doughboy would you: fry him, bake him, or use humane lethal injection?

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Do you think Satellite TVs The Quilting Channel merger with Knitting Bee TV constitutes an illegal monopoly?

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To make pro golf more interesting should Tiger Woods wear those Jerry Lewis goofy professor teeth and glasses when he putts?

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Would our cities seem more safe if a sumo wrestler who grunted in Japanese was assigned to every street corner?

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Could you personally benefit from a Hooked On Phonics rehab program?

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Would an Ugly Betty Barbie make the doll seem more realistic or just give Malibu Barbie and Skipper someone to pick on?

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Would North Korea back down if President Obama did the vampire, crossed-fingers thing every time a reporter mentioned the country?

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Would the economy improve if the government revealed a 4th Kennedy brother separated at birth named Huey?

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How could the government profit better from the Internet: Porn video tax? Toll booths? Sell the film rights to Spielberg?

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Should the panhandlers who carry "Will Work For Food" signs be granted their own union?

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Should Pat Boone be banned from the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame for admitting that he bet on high stakes Parcheesi?

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Which member of Motley Crue do you feel is the most likely to leave the band in a fit of range, shave his head and become a CPA?

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Wrinkle-free cotton: modern miracle or urban myth?

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Would it change your opinion of their product if you knew that Sarah Lee was Duncan Hines' and Betty Crocker's love child?

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Should Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen be allowed to bum for change on Holywood's Walk of Fame, provided they're standing on their own star?

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Though fictitious, would you like to see the Sharks and Jets inducted into the Street Gang Hall of Fame?

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Should the word "bling" be officially outlawed for fear that Regis Philbin may attempt to bring it back?

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Should robots be banned if they start locking themselves in their room and keep saying "I don't feel like serving mankind right now"?

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Would you like to see more government research dollars spent on seeing if we really can get blood out of a turnip?

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Would your doubts about Brittany Spears' IQ improve is she claimed to be a descendant of William Shakespears?

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Should the word Hootenanny continued to be capitalized in police reports as required by 7 state laws, or have we gotten past that?

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Should celebrities who adopt starving children be required to adopt an ex-felon every fourth child to help reduce prison populations?

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Does the word "brooch" sound more like an incursion of international borders or an insect that will survive WW III?

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Do you feel that survey companies are becoming so lax with questions that sometimes they don't even?

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Would you like to see Simon of American Idol: a) crushed, b) blended or c) choker collared by Ryan Seacrest?

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Is Miley Cyrus actually Hannah Montana in drag?

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What do you think of Glock's plans to come out with the Sarah Palin 9mm in pink with a mauve safety?

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What's the best way for Angelina Jolie and Jennifer Anniston to settle this once and for all?

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Should contestants on Survivor be allowed to keep a pair of brass knuckles in their underwear just to keep things interesting?

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Which aging child actor would you prefer to clean out your pool? a) Ron Howard, b) Gary Coleman, c) Danny Bonnaduce, d) Valerie Bertinelli

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Do you think fitting punishment for identity thieves is to force them to live out their days assuming the identity of Urkel?

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Since Fonz on Happy Days used the word "eh" at the start of a sentence, do you think Henry Winkler was playing a dyslexic Canadian?

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Lennon or McCartney? Peter-Paul or Mary? Fiddy Cent or Nickelback?

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Should Paris Hilton be allowed posthumous induction into the Zsa Zsa Gabor Hall of Fame even though she doesn't know what posthumous means?

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Do you feel quilters are discriminated against since there are no reality shows about them?

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Would you be inclined to trust Amish Brand Alkaline Batteries?

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Do you think licensing a polka hall next to a bingo parlor is just asking for trouble?

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When was the last time you had a really good tongue lashing? Was it a) painful, b) enjoyable, c) wet?

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Dancing circus bears in tutus: exploited or bipolar?

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Would you be willing to pay extra for a 24-hour cable channel of Tony Danza reading juicy excerpts from the Congressional Record?

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Would you trust a bank teller who wore a ski mask?

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Are you perplexed by questions that utilize capacitative, sometimes concoctified words merely for the sake of the pompixiation?

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Does hockey lead to violence? Or does violence lead to hockey?

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Has your reluctance to get a pet pig been due to the swine flu epidemic?

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Baba Ghanoush: Extremist group? Dietary benefit? Israeli TV sidekick?

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Should Lindsay Lohan be allowed a shot of Jagermeister to celebrate when she completes each week of rehab?

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I wanna know: have you ever seen rain, coming down on a sunny day?

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asks: Oodshay Igpay Atinlay ebay aughtay nieay ublicpay oolschay?

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If Ugly Betty had an even more homely evil twin, do you think it would make a better show?

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I'm too sexy for my: a) shirt, b) blouse, c) zip code, d) nostrils?

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Who was the hottest Golden Girl?

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Would you be more inclined to watch American Idol if the finalists sang their numbers while ramming each other in giant hamster balls?

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Who coined the phrase "to coin a phrase"?

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On a multiple choice question with the same choice for all answers, would you answer a) yes, b) yes, c) yes or d) all of the above?

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Have you ever used a tongue twister to thwart a robbery?

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Should Rush Limbaugh be allow to proceed with his character defamation lawsuit against Limburger cheese?

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Do you think the phrase "sleeps with the fishes" is derogatory to narcoleptic deep-sea divers?

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asks: Do you think Vin Diesel's popularity was responsible for the rise in gas prices?

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Should there be Equal Opportunity legislation to make sure that street gangs allow women, minorities and the handicapped?

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Is it just a coincidence that Carmen San Diego and Waldo went missing about the same time?

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Question: Different Strokes "Christmas in Prison" reunion show. Yes or no?

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Question: Drummer Travis Barker: Cute Or Cuddly?

Your response please.

Question: Give me one good reason why the government should grant you personal bailout funding?

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Question: Do you agree with Homeland Security that the phrase "Da Bomb" poses a security threat?

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Question: Should accountants be banned from riding Harleys as the Hell's Angels insist because "it just ain't natural"?

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Question: Should lawyers who ride Harleys be required to wear "Born to Raise Bail" lettering on their jackets?

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Question: Should all the doctors who ride Harleys be required to wear red crosses on their leather jackets?

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Question: Does the label "100% Recycled" bother you when it's on a package of toilet paper?

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Question: Are there any porn stars that you've ever personally seen clothed in public?

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Question: Should anyone with a goatee and a falafel be listed in Homeland Security's terror suspect list?

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Questions: Will or Grace? Harley or Davidson? Bevis or Butthead? Mike or Ike?

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iTunes

Best of Senseless hit the iTunes Store today.

Question: If one were to undergo lap band surgery at gunpoint, should it be Oprah or Rush Limbaugh?

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Question:

Are fried potatoes really all that and a bag of chips?

Question:

Do you think a Mr. T comeback would bring up the price of gold and stimulate the economy?

Distribution grows

The First Best Of The US Senseless Survey will be up on iTunes and Amazon soon.

Question:

Who would be the victor in an arm wrestling match between Heather Locklear and Pamela Anderson?

Question:

Is there anyone who's body you'd like exhumed just to see how they're doing?

Asking:

Which child actor in the Brady Bunch do you think is more likely to be a telemarketer as an adult?

Question:

Do you think Paris Hilton would have been as famous for doing nothing if her parents had named her "Vienna" or "Poughkeepsie"?